Ten Little Pieces
by Lacertae
Summary: It was our special game. When no one else was around, Itachi loved to play it. At first, I was scared, but he promised me that I would have fun. He promised me that it would be our little secret. He knew just what to say. ItaSas - discontinued
1. Only Blue

**Pretty Disclaimer: **_The characters of Naruto are not my own!_

**Warning(s): **This story contains dark and suggestive material. Don't complain about it.

Sasuke's POV.

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**Ten Little Pieces**

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_It was our special game. When no one else was around, Nii-san loved to play it. At first, I was scared, but he promised me that I would have fun. He promised me that it would be our little secret. He knew just what to say to blind me—to convince me of the right where there was only wrong._

_When we first played his little game, I was six years old. I wanted to make my older brother proud. Everyone loved him. I had to be among the adoring crowd. What was family for?_

_When did it stop being just a game, Itachi?_

.-.-.

**I. Only Blue**

_Itachi held my hand loosely in his, and I glanced up at him from behind my lashes. As soon as our parents' car was out of view, he looked down at me with a small smile. My hand began to sweat; I knew he was thinking of playing our game again. I wasn't sure whether I was excited or scared, but I let him lead me back into the house..._

Gasping, I sat up and leaned over the side of my bed, vomiting into the metal trash can. A layer of sweat shone on my forehead, and my ebony locks were plastered to my head. My hands were shaking as I rubbed at my clammy face. Even miles away, _he _found a way to ruin my life.

A bottle of pills sat on my nightstand, illuminated by the sudden flash of a car's headlights. I reached over and took the cool bottle in my hand, retrieving my glass of room-temperature water that remained on the oak table. Unscrewing the cap, I tipped the bottle over into my hand and stared at the single blue, oval pill that rested in my shaking palm. Thirty milligrams of peace and quiet. Thirty milligrams of Paxil.

"How did you sleep, dear?" At breakfast, my mother asked her usual question and flashed her usual smile.

I poked at my scrambled eggs and gave her a small shrug. The smile on her face lessened, but it didn't disappear. She reached across the table to touch my hand, but my father interfered.

"He's not a little boy. He can handle a few restless nights," my father said in a gruff tone.

He didn't look at me, but I wasn't surprised. Ever since Itachi was charged with second-degree rape, my father avoided me at all costs. The only time we really spoke was when we were in the presence of my mother. When he drove me to school and picked me up after swim practice, he would grip the wheel until his knuckles turned white and stare at the road as if it would suddenly open up and swallow us whole. He blamed me for scarring the family name.

"Would you like some more eggs?" My mother offered and held out the pan of scrambled eggs.

"No, thanks," I replied and pushed my plate away. "I have to get ready for school." I bowed to my father and left the room, ignoring my mother's whispered conversation with him.

My pills kept me in a sedated mood, but they didn't fix anything. My mind was full of bitter memories. As I stood under the steady stream of hot water, I could feel Itachi's hands traveling lightly over my body. I shut my eyes, but I was met by frightening images.

_I took the plastic figurine and shoved it into the soapy water, pretending that the soldier was drowning in a pit of acid. Laughing, I reeled the soldier back in and then tossed it over the side of the tub. Glancing over, I saw my brother catch the soldier in his hand. _

"_What did you do that for, Nii-san? He was in enemy territory," I frowned, making a beard of bubbles. _

_Itachi kneeled down beside the tub and wiped the bubbles from my face. He sat the soldier on the edge of the tub and then took my washcloth in his hand. _

"_I can take a bath by myself now. I'm a big kid." I sighed as he told me to put my arms up._

"_This is like a game, otouto," he said, running his hand over my soapy arm. "Our special game." His hand dipped beneath the water..._

I opened my eyes and turned off the water. My head was spinning, and my stomach was churning. I had trusted Itachi with my life. I was wrong to do such a thing; I swore I'd never let anyone else in. As I stepped out of the shower, I grabbed my towel from the back of the bathroom door. Padding across the wooden floor, I left a small trail of water droplets. My footsteps were slow, and I paused outside of _his _room.

Father frequently entered my brother's room. He made my mother dust and rearrange on a daily basis. If I weren't so medicated, people would have thought he was the crazy one. I reached my hand out to grasp the shoji door. It slid open without a sound.

The sheets were still in disarray from the last night Itachi slept there. The morning after that, my father watched as his eldest son was escorted—by his police buddies—to the station. Some said that they never saw it coming. They were blind.

"You don't want to be late for school!" Mother called from downstairs.

Silently, I turned and walked out. Just as I was closing the door, my father arrived at the top of the stairs. He saw me standing so close to that precious space.

"Get dressed." The way he looked at me when he saw me in a towel made me want to disappear.

He said that it was my fault that I had been raped numerous times. He said rape victims made themselves easy targets by parading around like common whores. I was six years old, yet I was responsible? When he turned to go back downstairs, I finally opened my mouth.

"Fuck you." Whether he heard me or not, he kept walking.

Ignoring the problems never made them go away, but my family lived by that motto. In three days, my brother returned home. Having served two years in prison, he was out on parole. Although he wasn't supposed to be within thirty feet of me, my father got around the rules and regulations with one of his professional smiles.

"Sasuke? Your father is waiting in the car. Hurry up." My mother handed me a bento box as soon as I got down the stairs.

Sitting next to my father, I stared out the window at the gray sky. Everything about the day was appropriate. I could feel his eyes boring holes into the back of my head, but I refused to turn and acknowledge him. The silent car rides annoyed him more than anything.

"Itachi comes home this weekend. You're going to stop this melancholy act and show some true Uchiha character. I didn't say anything when you stopped seeing your psychiatrist, and I overlooked your...episodes, but I won't have you driving my first son away." The sting of his words didn't reach my heart; my pills dulled all the pain.

"I won't screw anything up," I said, opening the car door as soon as he reached the school lot.

"Your mother is going to need help decorating for the welcoming party. As soon as your homework is complete, talk to her about what she needs done." He turned his head back on the road, signaling that the conversation had ended.

Slamming the car door, I turned and began walking across the lot to the front gates of the academy. I looked perfect, just like every other day. Girls swarmed around me, flirting with me whenever they got the chance; it was another school day.

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_Author Rant_

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_I couldn't resist writing a dark story about ItaSasu. I wanted to post what I have so far to get a reaction and some much-needed feedback. In other words, I really need reviews to know how I'm doing. I don't have a lot written. What I have posted is all I have so far._

Reviews are loverly!

**Ja ne.**


	2. Surface

**Pretty Disclaimer: **_The characters of Naruto are not my own!_

**Warning(s): **This story contains dark and suggestive material. Don't complain about it.

* * *

**II. Surface**

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_Itachi put a hand over my mouth and pressed his chest against my back. His breath was hot on my ear, and my body was quivering with fear. _

"_Don't you trust me, otouto?" He nibbled on my ear and slowly slid his hand from over my mouth. _

"_Why can't we tell anyone about this? I don't want to play anymore, Nii-san. Please," I whispered as he tugged my shirt over my head. _

"_Everyone does this, Sasuke, and this makes me happy. You like making me happy." It wasn't a question, for I loved making Itachi smile and laugh. "Tonight, I'll let you touch me. Would you like that, otouto?" He looked me in the eyes as his hands trailed over my bare flesh._

"_Yes, Nii-san." I was obedient and naïve._

I hit my knees off my desk and bolted upright. Iruka-sensei had a hand on my shoulder, and he was asking me if I were all right. All around me, students were staring at me with worried and surprised expressions. Had I said anything aloud?

"Go get a drink of water, Sasuke." Iruka-sensei handed me a hall pass and helped me out of my desk. "Do you need someone to go with you?" I wanted to say that I was capable of walking, but my knees were shaking too bad. "Neji, go with Sasuke. Everyone else, get back to your tests." Iruka-sensei let his gaze linger on me for a little longer, and I felt as if I were on the witness stand all over again.

Neji didn't touch me as we left the classroom, nor did he show any signs of assisting me with walking. He had done this with me a thousand times, and he knew I didn't want to be touched unless it was absolutely necessary. He never asked questions. I never supplied any information.

"Hang on," I said as we stopped before my locker.

I slid my key into the lock and then swung the metal door open. Sitting on the top shelf was a bottle of my beloved pills. Thirty milligrams of Paxil. A blue pill made everything better. I retrieved a single pill and then closed my locker, returning to the patient Hyuuga Neji.

I'd only had to take my medication in school a few times. Ever since I heard of Itachi's homecoming, I'd been taking the maximum dosage whenever I could. The medication made me drowsy, but I needed it. I needed to feel strong. I needed to forget what happened. According to the courts, Itachi had made vast improvements. He was a changed man. I wish I could have changed for the better.

"You were on the news," Neji spoke after I'd managed to take the pill and get a drink from the water fountain.

"Oh?" My mask was back in place, even as the pieces began to fall away on the inside.

"Raped by your own brother...," Neji trailed off and just shook his head.

"..." I stopped in my tracks and stared at him in horror.

"You didn't know," he frowned.

Slowly, I shook my head and began to back away. I grabbed my head as thousands of terrible scenarios played within my mind. I imagined the isolation I would face, the torture, the taunts, and the humiliation. The police had promised me that it would be kept off the radar. I didn't want anyone to know. I didn't want...

"Everyone knows?" I looked into Neji's light orbs, hoping for a good response.

"His release and registration as a sex offender sparked quite a story for the local news stations and newspapers. It's hard to believe that it happened to you, Uchiha." Neji was neither mocking me nor comforting me, but I felt a tear stream down my cheek.

A few heads were poking out of the classrooms that lined the hall. I turned to see all of the people looking at me, and it felt as if I were suffocating. The hallway began to spin, and Neji's voice began to fade. I was sweating and crying, and I felt something warm running down my right leg. I fainted.

_His groaning only served to increase the rate of my tears. One. Two. Three and four. The droplets landed on his best sheets. When he came, my salty tears were joined with another salty fluid._

_I thought that I would leave—that the game would be over—but he grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him. At the last moment, he changed the long-standing rules of our game. For a few minutes, he just ran his hands over my body, but then, he grabbed my cock. _

_I was nine years old, and he was fourteen. He told me to get on my hands and knees, as if I were going to crawl away. I was scared, and I told him that I was tired. He laughed, and then I let out a muffled scream as he shoved two fingers into my ass._

"_You'll like this, otouto. You'll feel me inside of you." Itachi leaned down and left a single kiss on the back of my neck._

_My face was wet with tears as he rammed into me. He was very forceful, and he didn't seem to care how bad I was suffering. His groaning drowned out my low moans of pain. He was having so much fun with me._

.-.-.

I sat on the floor of the laundry room, staring down at the polished wood. My father was lecturing me from within the kitchen, and my mother was trying to calm him down. After I passed out, the school called my parents to take me home. I was fifteen years old, and I was escorted home like a baby. Imagine my embarrassment when I realized that I had wet my pants.

"He had a bad day, Fugaku. We should let him get some rest," my mother spoke softly, placing a hand upon my father's arm.

"A bad day?! He's fifteen years old, and—Kami-sama—he wet his pants like some kind of child. _My_ son. My _fifteen-year-old_ son. He needs to go back to counseling," my father said and slammed his coffee mug down on the kitchen counter. "If Itachi were here—," he was cut off by my mother's sharp intake of breath.

I opened the door of the dryer and took my pants out, slipping them back on over my blue boxers. I couldn't think of anything to say or do, so I just walked out of the laundry room and towards the stairs. My father preferred his rapist son over me. Would I always be in Itachi's shadow—even as he raped me for all to see?

"Mikoto, stop protecting him. He'll realize that he needs to move on." My father didn't understand.

I closed my bedroom door behind myself and melted into the silence. Sitting at my computer desk, I stared out at my room with distant, uninterested eyes. I never noticed how foreign and empty my bedroom was. It held no homely touches—only an old family photo. Leaning over, I turned the photo face-down and hit the button on my answering machine.

"_Sasuke, it's Sakura...Haruno Sakura. You know, the girl that sits behind you in your first, second—er, I mean, a girl from school. I was wondering if you were doing okay. If you need anything, I'm here for you._" There was a small _click_ to signal that she had hung up, and the next message began playing.

"_Listen, if you got a call from Sakura, just ignore her. It's Ino, Yamanaka Ino. I sent you the card and flowers when you were in the hospital, remember? I heard about your brother, and I can't believe he'd do such a thing. You must be so brave to put—_." I skipped her message, slowly removing my finger from the button that would delete her annoying voice.

"_Hello, otouto._" I fell out of my desk chair and crawled away from the machine.

The message was a simple greeting, and then it faded to absolute silence. Just when I thought that the message was over, I heard_ his_ voice again.

"_I know how much you've missed our game. This time, I'll be more careful about where we play. I'll see you soon._" The machine announced that it was the end of my messages, but I was hyperventilating.

My mother began knocking on my door and tugging at the handle, but I must have locked it on my way in. Everything in my line of sight began to fade to white, and the sounds around me became muffled. All things were melding into one. I wondered if I were dying.

"Sasuke!" My mother shook my shoulders, and my father kneeled down, the phone in hand.

"Should I call the paramedics?" My father paused, his fingers on the digits.

"Oh, Sasuke." My mother hugged me as I began to come around. "What happened? You were having another panic attack," she said, her eyes full of unshed tears.

"Itachi. He called, and he said...he said," I stopped, unable to continue.

My father put the phone back onto my desk and hit the button for the answering machine. He skipped over Sakura's message, then Ino's. The next thing I knew, I was hearing Naruto's voice.

"_Sasuke?! Are you okay? Iruka-sensei said you went home for the day. Is everything all right?! You bastard, pick up the phone! Call me back!_" I thought I heard the familiar _click_, but his voice returned. "_It's Naruto._" It was only Naruto.

"He left me a message. I heard his voice," I said as my parents stared at me.

"Honey, you didn't get enough sleep. Get into bed, I'll fix you something light for dinner. Would you like that?" My mother kissed me on the forehead and ruffled my hair, almost as if I were her little boy again.

"Itachi isn't allowed to call here. Listen to your mother and get to bed. I'm on patrol tomorrow morning, and I don't need anymore action tonight," my father sighed, rubbing his right temple.

Closing my eyes, I listened to their retreating footsteps. I had heard Itachi. I was so sure of it. Was I losing my mind? I stripped down to my boxers, grabbed the cordless phone, and walked over to my bed. Outside, the sun was shining, but my blinds blocked the heavenly rays out.

"Do you think I'm crazy?" I didn't bother with a greeting, for the person knew my voice by heart.

"What? Did someone tell you that?!" Naruto asked in a loud tone.

"Shh!" I heard someone say from the background.

"Be quiet, I can't hear!" Naruto scolded the person. "Sorry about that, I'm in detention. I spilled my ramen on Kakashi-sensei's car, and he thought he was the one suffering. That was my lunch," Naruto frowned and pouted.

"You idiot, you never answered my question." I pulled the covers over myself and stared up at the milky ceiling, imagining that Itachi were dead in a ditch.

"You aren't crazy," Naruto said in a softer tone. "You're the best person I know." I glanced over at the bottle of Paxil, contemplating taking my next dose an hour or two earlier than scheduled.

"Have you ever been afraid, Naruto?" I folded an arm behind my head and let my eyes stray from the bottle of medication.

"Everyone's been afraid at least once. My uncle, the pervy sage, said that fear is a part of life. He said it after having one too many servings of sake, but I believe him." I could just imagine the look on Naruto's face as he spoke the words, and the corner of my mouth curved up into a slight smile. "Are you afraid?" Naruto asked in a small voice, almost as if he were afraid to offend me.

"..." I imagined seeing my brother's face after years without him. "All the time," I sighed.

I made up an excuse to get off the phone and turned onto my stomach. Staring off to the side, I stared at one of my bookshelves. In the second row, I stored my favorite childhood storybook. Itachi was the last one to read from its pages. I remember how he'd put the book aside and rested his hand on my leg. It wasn't the first nor the last time he'd touched me, but it was another terrible memory.

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_Author Rant_

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_This is all I have done so far. How was it? Let me know! Don't be shy._

_So far, this story focuses on Sasuke. I am not sure how my other chapters will be, but I'd like to say a few things. _**I do not write porn**. _If any readers are looking for some hot ItaSasu action, reconsider. There will be smut, but patience is a virtue__. I write stories, not porn. Any smut within this story is strictly for the plot._

Reviews are loverly!

**Ja ne.**


	3. Notice Me

**Pretty Disclaimer: **_The characters of Naruto are not my own!_

**Warning(s): **This story contains dark and suggestive material. Don't complain about it.

* * *

**III. Notice Me**

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Two more school days passed by, but I hardly noticed. Locked in my dark bedroom, I watched reruns of black-and-white comedies and cheesy romance movies. If anyone asked me the titles of the shows or any of the real content, I wouldn't answer. I was conscious of my surroundings, yet I wasn't. At times, I felt like a zombie—maybe even death itself.

Pill after pill. Hour after hour. No one came to inquire about my well-being, and I had long since unplugged the telephone. On the day that Itachi was to return home, I sat beside the window and peered through my slanted blinds. Someone knocked on my door.

"Get up and put something nice on; be downstairs in thirty minutes." My father didn't speak in a loud tone, so he knew perfectly well that I was awake.

After I closed the blinds, I went to my closet for a pair of khaki pants and a light-blue dress shirt. Something felt wrong. I was going to don my best clothing to welcome home the guy that raped me. Hell, family members and close friends were mingling downstairs, preparing to surprise Itachi when he walked through the door. I never even had a party for my birthday.

"You look nice." My mother stood in the doorway, a smile upon her face.

"Where did father go?" I tugged at the edge of my shirt, but I didn't tuck it in; Itachi didn't deserve the formality.

"He went to pick up your brother right after he woke you up. They should be—." I ignored her words when I heard the sound of tires in the driveway.

My heart was pounding in my chest. One car door slammed, then a second slammed. My breathing was light and quick as I listened for the sound of the front door opening. Oblivious to my panicking, my mother hurried back downstairs to greet them.

"Come on, dear. Don't you want to surprise your big brother?" She was so excited—so happy.

I followed her path towards the front door. I swore I heard two sets of footsteps nearing the door. When I got to the bottom of the steps, I felt the familiar surge of emotion. I was suffocating, and I wanted to vomit. I prayed that I wouldn't lose control of my bodily functions. I prayed that the footsteps belonged to someone else. As the front door opened, I knew that my prayers were unanswered.

"We're back." The proud smile on my father's face was another punch to my unsettled stomach.

With sunset skin and ebony eyes, Itachi entered the house. For the first time in two years, we were in the same room. Mother hugged him and cooed about how he was her baby; father patted him on the back. All the while, he was looking at me, and I was looking right back.

So focused on _him_, I failed to hear the cheers and the clapping that came from the guests. When the eye contact was broken, Itachi kept his cool demeanor and accepted the warm welcomes from familiar faces. Every so often, I felt his eyes on me. I had a feeling that he wanted me to know that his focus remained on me.

"No. Two years gave Itachi a lot of time to think. It was a confusing time for him," I heard my Father explain to my Aunt and Uncle.

"Oh, everything will be fine. Sasuke is such a sweet boy; we're all forgiving here," Mother voiced.

The words seemed to swirl around on an unseen breeze. No one asked me how I felt about living under the same roof as a convicted rapist. No one cared. I stood at the bottom of the staircase and watched everyone joke and laugh.

"Not happy to see me, _otouto_?" My eyes widened and every muscle in my body tensed.

Slowly, I turned to my left and met my brother's gaze. He appeared very suave and sophisticated; he also seemed unapologetic. Again, no one paid any attention to me. I opened my mouth to respond, but Itachi reached forward and grabbed my chin.

"You missed me. I can see it in your eyes," Itachi said with his usual passive expression.

"I _hate_ you," I spoke from between gritted teeth.

He closed the distance between us and let his thumb run along my bottom lip. It was a wonder no one saw him violating every portion of his parole. The smallest of smiles crossed his face, and I felt something flutter within me. It had been years since I saw his smile.

"This time, no one will interrupt us. Are you going to cry for help, Sasuke?" He seemed amused as I looked around at anyone for any sort of acknowledgment. "Run." And at that, he took a step back.

Like a coward, I turned and fled. I ran up the stairs, even going so far as to crawl the rest of the way when I tripped. Then everyone noticed me; everyone whispered about me. Father apologized over and over again for my reaction. Itachi just stood there, his expression devoid of surprise or concern. To everyone present, Itachi was never in the wrong.

_My thirteenth birthday was uneventful, but one gift was still unaccounted for—Itachi's. The air felt hot and humid, leaving everyone's flesh a deep shade of red. Central air wasn't working, so I stayed with Itachi while our parents went to the hardware store. _

_I avoided him like the plague. I knew that if I ever gave him an opportunity to take advantage of me—if I ever let him see a weakness—he pursued it. As I shut my bedroom door, I noticed a figure on my bed._

"_Get out," I frowned, glaring at Itachi._

"_You don't want your birthday gift?" He held a neatly wrapped package out, almost daring me to refuse._

_When my hand went for that package, he moved and caught my wrist. The gift tumbled to the floor, but the box had been empty all along. Itachi wasn't one to whisper sweet words, nor was he one to wait for what he wanted. Itachi took what he wanted, and he wanted me._

"_You always loved this game," Itachi said as he forced me onto my mattress. _

"_It's not a game, damn you! I'm going to kill you!" I shouted, trying to sound big through my tears._

_I always swore to kill him, but both of us knew that it was an unattainable goal. His hands were rough from training at the police academy; he didn't try to be gentle with me. His kisses were poisonous. His touch was acidic. I screamed as loud as I could, but no one came._

_He pressed his lips against mine, taking my bottom lip between his teeth. When I kept struggling against him, he bit down. After that, I did what he told me to—I didn't want any other questionable marks. I didn't want anyone to know about our _game_._

_He wanted me to stroke his dick, and I asked how fast or how slow. He wanted me to suck him off, so I did. He raped me until I bled. Itachi took pleasure in my pain. When our parents returned home, he vanished to his bedroom. I cried myself to sleep._

I slammed my shoji door and sunk to the floor. My pants were tight around my erection, and I looked down at myself with a blank expression. A part of me wanted to cry; another part of me wanted to scream. Instead, I crawled over to my nightstand and retrieved my bottle of pills. And like that, everything was better.

"Hm." A hand seized my bottle of medication. "What are they feeding you, _otouto_?"

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_Author Rant_

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_And I managed to write this chapter today. How was it? Let me know! _

If there are any awkward moments or discrepancies in the story, don't be afraid to let me know. This is a combination of two stories, so I may not have reviewed the material enough to catch any mistakes in time or in description; however, I did proof it three times. Still, be aware. Thanks.

Reviews are loverly!

**Ja ne.**


	4. Falling

**Pretty Disclaimer: **_The characters of Naruto are not my own!_

**Warning(s): **This story contains dark and suggestive material. Don't complain about it.

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**IV. Falling**

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I stared up at him with wavering eyes. My body quivered like a leaf in the breeze. He looked at me with such a lack of emotion that I began to question whether or not he was even human. He couldn't have been a human being, not after the things he'd done.

Itachi didn't give a damn about anyone else but himself. He had a boyfriend once—and a boyfriend that looked like a girl. Each one left him. No one could love someone like Itachi.

"But I do," I found my thoughts finishing. "Just leave me alone." I sounded defeated; I couldn't even muster hatred in my drugged state.

"How many did you take?" Itachi stooped down next to me and reached out to touch my forehead.

Scowling, I batted his hand away. I knew his games. He did whatever he could to get near me, even if it meant faking compassion. The truth was, I forgot how many pills I'd taken. I didn't even care. I wanted to forget; I wanted to sleep.

"..." I glared at the floor, but my expression eventually softened.

_Itachi padded into my room, slowly sliding the door shut behind him; I knew he was in the room. He lifted the covers on my bed and slipped beneath them, closing the distance between our bodies. Something felt different in the way that he caressed my skin. It was like he actually cared that he'd hurt me._

_He leaned up, resting his head upon his bent arm. In the darkness, I could barely distinguish his eyes from the rest of his face. Without expression, he failed to intimidate me. When he dipped his head down, I raised my head up. Our lips met with the smallest jolt of electricity; it made me feel alive._

_Did I forgive him for all the things he'd done? No. Did I suddenly want him sexually? No. But at that moment, I wanted him to stay. I wanted him to be a brother to me; I missed my _Nii-san_._

_Both of us looked up when the shoji door slid open. The sound of breaking china echoed throughout the house. My mother had been the one to find us. Itachi stayed the night in his own bed, and then the police took him away. I was free, but a small part of me felt so alone._

When I finally came to, I expected to see hospital scenery. Instead, I awoke to the sound of shuffling papers. A small light lit the familiar room, and I sat up without a single thought running through my calm mind. I knew the feel of Itachi's bed; I recognized his exotic scent.

"Are you going to tell me how much you hate me now, Sasuke?" He placed the papers on his low table and looked over his shoulder at me.

His hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail, and a few stray strands hung into his face. He looked older than I remembered. I took notice of the dark color that he had painted his nails. His cream-colored pants came down to mid-calf, and he wore a plain black t-shirt. I looked at the door, wondering about our parents.

"They left a few hours ago," Itachi said, his focus now completely on me. "Does that scare you?" I had a feeling that he wanted me to say _yes_.

He was given the perfect opportunity to take advantage of me. Two years ago, he would have raped me. For some reason, I didn't think he would try the same thing again. He didn't scare me.

I wanted to be scared. Every ounce of common sense begged me to fear for my life, but I felt completely calm. Clad only in my boxers, I stared over at him with a blank expression. In my dreams, I likened him to a monster—maybe even a demon. Not long before, I swore that he wasn't human.

The way he sat there on his small pillow, his shoulders just so, he didn't seem abnormal. His posture was relaxed, but it wasn't sloppy. His expression seemed passive, but not completely unfeeling. I saw my brother. I saw the old Itachi, long before our games.

"Welcome home," I said, my voice cracking slightly.

"I told you that you missed me." I swore I saw a small smile on his face, but it quickly disappeared.

"I won't forgive you for what you did." My expression hardened as I spoke those words, but he didn't seem to care.

He turned the lamp off, letting the single window illuminate his bedroom. Frantically, I tried to force my eyes to adjust to the darkness. With a single _snap_, the blinds were shut. Everything was encased in the thick, suffocating shadows.

I needed my medication. I needed someone to keep me from hyperventilating. I didn't want the world to start spinning. With nothing to focus on, I let my heart beat faster; I lost control of my steady breathing. And then I felt his hand on my cheek.

Unlike all the other times, his touch didn't seem deceiving, nor did it feel rough and demanding. For once, it felt like any other intimate caress. It felt like the last time he'd kissed me.

"Please," I began to cry as I'd done so many other times.

**_This is like a game..._**

He straddled me, watching me break down in front of him. Tears were steaming down my face, and my nose began to run. Everything about the scene was embarrassing, but I couldn't handle it. The moment crushed me. All of my counseling and calming exercises were forgotten. I felt defenseless all over again.

**_Our special game..._**

"Be quiet," Itachi said, prying my hands away from my head.

I looked up at him in shock, waiting for him to take his chance. I expected him to rip my boxers off and hold me down. Instead, he looked at me with a heated expression. He seemed annoyed—maybe disappointed.

"I'm not going to rape you, _otouto_." He waited for me to stop crying, but I couldn't.

The back of his hand connected with my cheek. My head turned to the side with the abrupt slap; the tears stopped. It didn't make a difference how hard he hit me. Everything was numb. I turned and leaned forward, trying to press my lips against his. I knew what he wanted. If I gave him what he wanted, I knew he had to leave me alone. He always left me alone.

"You know that's not how the game works," Itachi frowned as he caught my chin. "You've grown up." We were so close that I could smell the mint on his breath.

"But I'm supposed to make you happy," I countered, using his old words against him.

I took his hand between my shaking hands and put it on my cock. He wanted it. He could have it. It didn't matter to me anymore. I felt crazed—even excited—to sacrifice my body. Apparently, he knew that I wasn't in my right mind. He knew the medication made me indifferent to his advances and his torture.

He leaned in further, taking my earlobe into his mouth. I could feel his tongue flick across the flesh. I felt the heat travel all the way through my body; it cut right through the cold that my blue pills brought. I moaned. I couldn't help it.

"You always did love this game," He spoke as he moved away. "Go to bed before our parents get home and see you aroused." He slipped his legs beneath the covers and turned his back to me.

I didn't remember how long I sat there in shock. He refused me. And what scared me even more was the fact that I had wanted it. For the first time, I wanted him to play our special game.

I loved my brother in so many ways.

* * *

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_Author Rant_

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_After suffering without internet, I was forced into writing; however, I only completed one chapter. Still, this is one more chapter that the readers didn't have before! Tell me what you think!  
_

_I don't know when I'll get another chance to update (I'm updating at my school right now), but my internet should be restored at my residence on Friday (Sept. 26)._

Reviews are loverly!

**Ja ne.**


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